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Saturday, July 16, 2005

Why Fanfiction Sucks (Part 1)

Two weeks have passed since I have retired from writing fanfiction.

I feel relieved. Writing fanfiction was supposed to be a practice for myself to improve my writing skills so that I can handle my personal creative projects (original writings, or screenplays) better.

Will I miss the fanfic-writing community? Barely. The ride had been a fun one, but getting involved in this community was somewhat tedious. And my departure now means that there are many things I don't have to deal with anymore. (of course, in truth, since I've moved away from, my exposure to these had been minimal at best, but they deserve some mention in tonight's entry of mine.)

One of the things that bothered me most about the fanfic-writing community.

Dumb Yaoi (Slash) Fanfic Writers And Their Badly Written Fanfics

Fanfiction is mostly dominated by female writers. So naturally, yaoi (slash) fanfiction is common in all fandoms. Male characters in a female-less world paired up with one another, involved in all kinds of angst and silliness.

Naturally, being a straight hot-blooded male, I've never been a fan of this subgenre. And because of this, I've been accused numerous times by writers of yaoi fanfics and their faithful fans of being a homophobe. That I'm a narrow-minded bigot who is unable to accept homosexuality.

... morons.

Seriously, my accusers should do the world a favour and go kill themselves. Yes, I happen NOT to like the idea of two male FICTIONAL characters who clearly are not attracted to each other in the source material acting like lovelorn idiots and then screwing each other, and then acting like lovelorn idiots again, before screwing each other again. There are so many yaoi fanfics that are so ridiculously cliched, pretentious and badly-written that I can't even appreciate them for their artistic merits.

Since when did the idea of writing two FICTIONAL characters engaged in gay sex to fulfill their own teenage fantasies make them gay rights activists? Since when does respecting homosexuality become an excuse for being a horrible writer who falls prey for all kinds of cliches? Numerous times, I've seen a yaoi fanfic writer defending her own crap fic by saying some rubbish like "YOU SEZ THAT MY FIC IS BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE A GAY-HATING HOMOPHOBE! I APPRECIATE HOMOSEXUALITY, AND I THINK IT IS A WONDERFUL THING, SO I CAN WRITE WHATEVER THE SHIT I WANT TO!'.

It's not the fact that this writer is a yaoi fanfic writer that irks me, but the fact that this writer is some dumbass who is unable to accept criticism that made me despise her so much. I tend to feel that as a writer, you should be seeking ways to constantly improve yourself, not being a delusional idiot who thinks that your work is some Booker-prize deserving masterpiece... merely because you had countless unbelievable gay sex scenes in it that involve you favourite bishies. Of course, I think their delusions are fueled by their faithful readers who seem to enjoy whatever crap shoveled at them as long as they get to see their two favourite manly men going at it. Bishie sex rules.

Hey, look, the following's one of the earliest haikus I've ever written: (three days ago)

I lust lesbian porn,
pretty girl humps pretty girl
a heavenly sight!

There, look! Does that make me a gay rights activists as well? Am I going to condemn anyone else who disagrees with my haiku as homophobes? Am I going to launch into a tirade of how cool lesbians are and how they are misunderstood? Nope, absolutely not.

Goddamn posers.

Seriously, look at the yaoi fanfics themselves. 8 out of 10 of them are seriously badly written, cliched or illogical.

For reasons I can NEVER comprehend, bitter enemies and archrivals tend to be romantically paired in these fanfics. Why? Because love-hate relationships are so great to write? Then at least try to make the relationship more PLAUSIBLE!

Over and over again, I am exposed to these!!!

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Gee, if I am a yaoi fanfic character, maybe every single person (of the same gender) I hate, I actually secretly lust for.

It's so utterly predictable now. Go watch an anime, or play a game, see whether it has a reasonably good-looking archrival or an antagonist or not. If yes, expect to see numerous yaoi fanfics dedicated to pairing the hero with these people.

Yah, so there might be some good writers of yaoi fanfiction out there, just like how there are some good literature out there that involves homosexuality (hell, I even did an essay on Thomas Mann's 'Death in Venice' last year). But the stupidity of the majority of these yaoi fanfic writers, and the crapness of their written works are so shitty that I wish I can beat them with a stick covered with shit. And because of that, I am blinded by hatred.

That's all I want to say.

Tomorrow, I'll speak about Mary Sue-ism.
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