An Amusing Email Regarding Fanfiction.net's New Rule. The Uselessness Of Online Petitions.

I received this email yesterday.



Dear Writers and Readers on Fanfiction.net:

I'm writing to inform you about a new rule the
Webmaster of ff.net has imposed: they've
forbidden us to answer the reviews. Yep,
you're reading correctly.

At first, it was believed that this was just a rumor,
but some days ago a writer friend was punished
because she answered her reviews in the chapters
of the fic.

Many people think this is very unfair because
that's the only way we have to communicate
with our readers. It's the only way they can know we
read their reviews; we read new opinions and make
friends.
We don't like this new rule, and we're writing to
ask your help.

It's very easy. We're making a list of people who
are against this new prohibition. To collaborate,
you just have to add you ff.net user name and email
address so that they'll be sure we haven't written up
unknown names just to fil l up the space.

Easy, isn't it? If you agree with us, add your user
name and e-mail down below. Then send this to all
your friends at Fanfiction.net until it reaches 200.
When it has 200 names, send it to
support@fanfiction.net
(and to ghani-chan@hotmail.com, please! just to know
how many people supports us)

Thanks for your help! Together we'll hopefully
made a change at ff.net, because this is a web site
for
fans who are looking to have fun, reading and
writing, and a part of that is the reviews and
the answers, right?

If you've already received this, please forgive.


This is followed by a bit more than a hundred over people who signed their names. Naturally, I didn't bother with it as I don't visit the place anymore and I don't wish to affiliate myself with this vile site either.

Once again, the merry staffers of fanfiction.net have proven to be the idiots they are by reinforcing another silly rule that redefines stupidity. And I feel sorry for the people who really signed their names for this petition, because quite seriously, I doubt they will succeed.

When ff.net enforced the rules to remove all NC-17 and real-person/celebrity fanfics few years ago, a couple of online petitions were launched, with THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of people signing it. The furore of the people was unrivalled, it was inspiring, it was gripping drama.

Oh, and they failed.

The NC-17 fanfics never returned, neither were the real-person/celebrity fanfics.

Maybe, just MAYBE, a MIRACLE might happen, and the ff.net staffers might be affected by the great sincerity of their dear members, immediately changing their evil ways. They'll put up a major apology on the front page to those they have wronged, and immediately say that they won't enforce this new rule anymore, allowing readers and reviewers to chat happily ever after.

I can never see the point of online petitions, and I've never seen an online petition succeeding before. You may name me a few that have succeeded, but I will give you 435435830583095809530958 of them that failed. The chances of seeing a successful online petition are as high as seeing the Malaysian football team win the World Cup Finals, which is, well, pretty damned near zero. Really. Online petitions are just as useful as convincing a hardcore Avril Lavigne fan that his/her idol is not a ROCKER.

So, you intend to start an online petition, and you got shitloads of signatures, were you really expecting whoever you're sending the petition to REALLY feel strong enough to give in to your demands?

"Ooooh, there are so many people who have signed this online petition, maybe I should LISTEN to them and CHANGE MY MIND because of them!! Yippee!"

I can still remember 5 years ago, when the Japanese pop group, SPEED, disbanded, countless members of my mailing list (yeah, PSML was once dedicated to SPEED before I changed it into something to further my own ends) decided to start a silly little online petition, bombarding SPEED's record company with emails, BEGGING them not to separate their most beloved group. At that time, even though I was a mere 16, I was sensible enough to know that something like this wouldn't work, thus I never got involved.

5 years have passed, each of the girls have faded into obscurity, none of their solo careers took off, and whoopsie daisies, they remain PARTED. I don't see the company doing something like:

"Aaaaah, I can still remember, FIVE YEARS AGO, there were a number of ONLINE PETITIONS and thousands of emails asking us to put the girls together again. Maybe we should do this NOW! We'll listen to these online petitions!!! After all, the fans definitely KNOW the business MUCH MORE than we do!!!"

The bottomline? Online petitions are freaking useless. Let's say some oversensitive, humourless and petty little twit decided to pick a fight with me by starting an online petition because he or she has had enough with my narcissism that is, for some silly little reason, offending to him or her. Imagine, a self-righteous person doing thus:

"THIS ONLINE PETITION IS TO DEMAND ELIAR SWIFTFIRE TO TAKE DOWN HIS VILE WEBSITE AND BLOG BECAUSE HE SAYS VILE AND SPITEFUL THINGS TO US! AND HE IS TOO EGOISTIC! I'M A NOSY BUSYBODY WHO HATES IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE EGOISTIC EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO ME BEFORE! COME, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! LET'S SIGN THIS ONLINE PETITION AND TAKE ELIAR SWIFTFIRE DOWN! DO THIS WORLD A FAVOUR!!! WE WILL SEND THIS TO HIM AFTER THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HAVE SIGNED HERE!!!"

And let's say, he or she has succeeded by magically conjuring that many signees. When I, the bane of mankind, views these, what will I do? Choose one of the following:

(A) "Geewhiz... so many people hate me, I will take down my site and blog and strive to be a better man!"

(B) "I am so afraid! oh no! I must take down my site immediately to make these people happy!"

or

(C) "Wha-? HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! *wheeze* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BAAAAHAAAAA! *pants* HAAAAHAHAHHAAAA! *gasps*

I'm definitely going to rid myself of the chance for publicity and go with (A) and (B). Yeah.

But that will be in another life.

Popular Posts