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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Swifty Explains Why Alex Yong is Cooler than God.




Justin: In case the title didn't make it abundantly clear, this entry's sole purpose is to introduce THE WORLD to the greatness that is ALEX YONG. Before we get this show on the road, I'll hand the mic over to Swifty for some background material.

Swifty: I am not worthy.

Justin: Okay. Alex Yong could get mad pussy if he tried, but he doesn't give a shit. One time I sat down at a table with a chick, just trying to serve Alex Yong up some game, but he wasn't having it. Too fucking cool.
He has mad hacking skills and figured out how to download from our local library. Because of his efforts, I am now enjoying the tasty K-pop goodness of BoA in both audio and video format.
Alex Yong studies chemistry, most likely with the aim of cooking up crack and scoring a profit in his home country of Malaysia. I have no doubt that his lab power will shut down any prior-operating kitchens.
If Alex Yong had of been a Jew in World War II, the Holocaust wouldn't have happened BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T HAVE ALLOWED IT. There is simply nothing more that can be said.
Testimonials:

Swifty: The guy's one cool mothafucka. When we take photos together, my godly looks and blinding charisma are slightly dimmed by his considerable presence. He's the only living person capable of doing that. 'He's so fucking cool that when he sleeps, sheep count him' (quote by screenwriter David Mamet). If he wants to fucking rule the world, I'll be the first to sign up! I'll be making propaganda films about him.
If Alex Yong had been a hobbit, he could've simply walked to Mordor, and pissed on the Eye of Sauron. Gollum will be so scared shitless by his greatness that he'll jump into Mount Doom by himself.
His culinary skills is beyond anything I've ever seen. I find myself addicted to the lobak he makes. In Justin's words, it's better than Buddhist Enlightenment, beeyatch!

Justin: I don't even know what the fuck lobak is, but these nuggets of wholesome flavor-goodness far surpassed anything in recent memory. In fact, given the choice between eating pussy and eating "lobak," I'd hesitate before choosing pussy. That alone should indicate the heights to which Alex Yong has soared in the kitchen.

TANAHASHINABA_ATWOOD: His name may sound like that worthless piece of crap of an F-1 driver, Alex Yoong, but put this guy in an F-1 car and he can grab more pole positions than Schumacher, Alonso or Raikonnen on any given day. Not had the chance to taste his lobak, but from what both Swifty and Justin said, it must really sound awesome. Dude! We've gotta have another cookout again!

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