The following review of NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS by Sebastian and I contains lots of spoilers.
Read it only if you have seen the film.
Or you can actually choose to read the review first and not wasting your time with the film.
I said:
still talking to mom?
He said:
okay, done
He said:
let's begin
I said:
All right, National Treasure 2 kinda sucked.
He said:
it does
He said:
and i was watching that directly after P.S. I Love You
I said:
I actually enjoyed the first film.
He said:
never saw the first one
I said:
I thought the first film was waaaaay better than Da Vinci Code
He said:
eh?
He said:
why?
I said:
Entertaining, less self-serious, the jokes actually worked, the action was really fun
I said:
My expectations were low, so I enjoyed it back in 2004.
I said:
However, my expectations were low (if not lower) for National Treasure 2 as well, yet I ended up disappointed.
He said:
how bad is it compared to this
I said:
not disappointed, more like, underwhelmed.
I said:
or indifferent.
He said:
as in, how much more lamer are the jokes in this one compared to the first one
I said:
I can't remember the first one that much, but the cringe-inducing jokes of part 2 made part 1 look like a Judd Apatow comedy classic.
He said:
the thing that irks me though
He said:
is that ppl actually enjoyed this shit
He said:
in the cinema i was in - it started with that goofy cartoon, did you guys have it?
I said:
No.
I said:
Shit.
He said:
well, ppl were laughing at the lame goofy cartoon joke
I said:
I never really liked Goofy much compared to Mickey or Donald.
He said:
and to be honest, the whole disney thing is beginning to look disturbing, the sort of all-american, family tradition sort of feel it brings to it
He said:
which definitely translates to national treasure 2 as well
He said:
no blood, no violent scenes, no one swears
He said:
A reviewer described it this way
I said:
National Treasure 2 is meant to fuel on everyone's patriotism and nationalistic pride.
He said:
bruckheimer films are formulaic becoz it works in a critic proof sort of way, and the formula is ...
I said:
And it's tailored for the masses. A pure 'family' film.
He said:
" old-fashioned entertainment with modern production values and underlying themes of patriotism and family loyalty"
He said:
In other words, puke-inducing
I said:
But I don't blame it purely on Disney. Disney DID bring us ENCHANTED, and that one's wonderful
He said:
i guess
He said:
but as i was watching this it hit me how different i am now - i am no longer that kid that can watch those action movies the way they did it in the 90s
He said:
i NEED my action movies to be grittier, more accurate, less obvious plotholes, more intelligent
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in short, i NEED children of men or i am legend or the bourne trilogy
I said:
Yup. I mean, towards the end of National Treasure 2, I kinda lost track of the plot
He said:
i cannot stoop down to watch national treasure anyway ... they actually bore me
He said:
seriously, it's hard to concentrate when throughout much of the film i'm just waiting for ed harris to die
He said:
oops, spoilers - not really, you dickwads, any idiot can see it 100 mins down the line
I said:
I mean, I was like, yeah, er, so, why did that lost page of the diary say that the Gates' ancestor was the mastermind of Lincoln's assassination
He said:
... and how does finding the lost city prove thomas gates' innocence again? no idea, dont care
I said:
Ed Harris's character suffers from script schizophrenia.
I said:
Am I supposed to hate him?
He said:
gosh, yeah
I said:
Feels like a decent bloke the whole time.
He said:
i feel sorry for helen mirren
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every single time, you know ... best actress winners
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at least she wasnt BAD in this one ... just, out of place
I said:
Well, at least it's just a small role.
I said:
Not Catwoman or Aeon Flux
He said:
yup yup
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and jon voight ... well, at least his character makes more sense here than in transformers
I said:
Shit, I forgot he was in Transformers.
He said:
in fact, about accuracy, i couldnt help but notice in the beginning of the film
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the way the characters talk sound NOTHING like 19th century americans
I said:
Haha, yeah.
He said:
i mean, c'mon
I said:
I mean, I like these conspiracy theories and shit.
He said:
it's like, the american public no longer cares about accuracy, all they want is family fun shit, no one swears
I said:
It's the films' main appeal. (... along with Da Vinci Code)
He said:
and they want the jokes to be so watered down
He said:
the conspiracy theories here arent interesting at all, downright dull
I said:
yeah, the Justin Bartha character is so... cringe-inducing
He said:
... yeah
I said:
and the Nic Cage - Diane Kruger love-hate relationship is so... sheesh
I said:
can't they be like Julianne Moore - Clive Owen in Children of Men?
He said:
but hey, nice casting bruce greenwood - reprising kennedy from thirteen days, perhaps? haha
I said:
Yeah, that one, I like.
I said:
Hell, the short moment between Bruce Greenwood's prez and Gates may have been the highlight of the film.
He said:
plotwise, though, kidnapping the president - what?
I said:
Should've let that last longer
He said:
first of all, it is NOT that outrageous ... what's outrageous is that it isnt outrageous enough
I said:
had him following them throughout the rest of the adventure
He said:
after all the fuss the other characters made
I said:
Yeah
I said:
I saw it with my friend, Hui Jing, who is also a film student
I said:
She was yawning after they reached the library of congress
He said:
haha
I said:
I lasted until when they entered the city of gold.
I said:
in Mount Rushmore
He said:
it didnt help that the music was not exciting
I said:
seriously, I don't think I can remember much after they entered the place
I said:
I was dozing off.
I said:
I snapped awake only at... um, I dunno, maybe the Helen Mirren-Jon Voight reconciliation shit
He said:
well, i didnt doze off, but john powell's music from P.S. I Love You kept playing in my head through this film
He said:
and i was thinking, i want to see P.S. I Love You again ...
He said:
which is really bad for national treasure - action scenes cant hold my attention
He said:
the car chase sequence in london just made me think, hmm, i want to see what Bourne does in a london car chase scene
I said:
Yeah, they were bland.
He said:
and how much did this film cost?
I said:
Dunno, 100+ million?
I said:
Kept under wraps.
I said:
I ain't looking forward to National Treasure 3.
He said:
yeah ... pg 47
I said:
If I were in US, I would rather watch WALK HARD or SWEENEY TODD.
He said:
was the plot to this movie hinted in the first movie?
I said:
Nope, I don't think so.
He said:
... actually, i gave sweeney todd a skip for now ... could have seen that, but i needed entertainment
He said:
havent had entertainment in so long
He said:
never thought i'd be so bored with entertainment
He said:
they need to stop making these movies ... but what irks me so much is that ppl WANT to watch these movies
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS Trailer
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