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Friday, June 20, 2014

Me vs Malaysian Moviegoers

I go to the movies almost every week, and had dealt with my share of unruly moviegoers in the cinema. I had a particularly annoying experience yesterday when I went to THE ROVER (the Australian film by David Michod that stars Guy Pearce and Robert Pattinson), but more on that later.

I decided to compile the tweets or FB statuses I have posted this year which I bitch about people lacked cinema manners.

My earliest one this year was a tweet 4 months ago, in February, after I went to THE LEGO MOVIE.

Urgh, it's cool to bring your kids to the movie. But letting them run around DURING the movie is rude! You DON'T do that to THE LEGO MOVIE!

I can't stand children who cannot even behave properly in the cinema. Or rather, parents who never taught their kids cinema manners...?

I wrote this on April 26th, almost 2 months ago, when I just saw CAPTAIN AMERICA 2.

A movie ticket in Malaysia is around 3-4 USD, but 19USD in Tokyo. I was in Malaysia for 2 days before flying back to Tokyo (today), so I decided to catch two films showing at the cinema.
Was glad to have caught GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL, I think it's the first time I've ever seen a Wes Anderson film on the big screen, and I'm surprised too that the hall was full (granted, there was only one show per day) and local audiences were reacting so positively to the film. Amazing. Happy that I was surrounded by sophisticated audiences.

After that I went to see CAPTAIN AMERICA 2. Which was pretty all right, but sadly, with more annoying audiences. There was a group of 7-8 year old kids sitting behind me. Some had seen the film before and were loudly giving spoilers to their friends (who was watching it for the first time): "You know who the Winter Soldier is...? You remember the Museum scene just now???" ".... okay, they are going to find a secret room blah blah blah Hydra!" "... this guy is actually evil blah blah blah"

I turned and gave the kids a death glare, but their eyes were glued to the screen.

Sitting behind me were two girls... during a particular scene, this whispered conversation happened:

Girl 1: OMG! OMG! Look at the security guard! See who he is????
Girl 2: Er...
Girl 1: It's STAN LEE! ROFL!!! STAN LEE!!!!!
Girl 2: Who's that?
Girl 1 had to lean forward and painstakingly explain to her friend who Stan Lee was.
By that time I was rolling my eyes so much I thought I was having a headache.

Friends on Facebook commented on this one with their own horror stories in the cinema.

This was Amanda's. Reading what she wrote made me feel as pissed as she was.

Edmund, I have the same experience when I watched The Hobbit in Malaysia. The aunty and the kids behind keep shouting, Oh, is a dragon, Oh, the cliff is a face of a men. We stared at them, but still they keep talking. We turn and say, could you please keep quiet? They still ignore us and continue to Wah this and that. (~.~')

At the end of the show, my brother was so furious and told the aunty, "this is not your house! when you watch movie, please do not affect other people!" Then the lady yelled back and said "Hey, I bought ticket into the cinema, I can do whatever I want!" Then my brother told her "we too bought ticket!" When she could not fight back, she told all the kids "Don't bother him, he is crazy man!"

And finally, yesterday, I went to THE ROVER.

I sure wasn't expecting the film to be shown in Malaysia. I guess it was the Robert Pattinson factor.

I was surprised that THE ROVER by David Michod ("ANIMAL KINGDOM"), which was in Cannes last month, is actually screened in Malaysian cinemas. I guess it must have been the Robert Pattinson thing.

I went to see the film just now, when I walked into the hall, I started to feel a little worried. Being the first day, the hall was almost full. A group of rowdy women were sitting next to me, an elderly couple were behind me. I frowned, suspecting that the women beside me weren't exactly the intended audience for this film.

I was right. With its meditative atmosphere and languid pacing, this Australian film isn't exactly the action movie /Robert Pattinson star vehicle they were expecting.

Just a first few minutes into the film, the plump loud woman with super short hair immediately groaned "Mana sarikata????" (where are the SUBTITLES??? Yeah, the film had no subtitles at all)

And throughout the film, she started yawning rather audibly, and complained together with her friends, and shuffled about, which annoyed me because I was sitting right next to her. At one point, plump woman groaned loudly "what the fuck movie is this??" (luckily her voice was drowned off by the music, but I heard it clearly, of course)

They stared glassily during those long dialogue scenes between Robert Pattinson and Guy Pearce ("Robert Pattinson..." the plump woman's friends whispered to themselves in reassurance)

Two thirds into the film, plump woman walked out... and came back with bags of chips. And then, she and her friends very considerately started tearing the wrapper and munched the chips. When the film is so bloody quiet, the sound of potato chips wrappers could drive one to the brink of sanity. Especially if that someone was sitting right next to them.

"CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH" The plump woman and her buds made sounds while munching potato chips.
"Bising la!" (You're so noisy!) One of the friends complained.
"Mengantuk laaaa" (I'm sleepyyy) Another friend replied.

And then, the douche sitting in front of me started checking his whatsapp. Being a fool, the light of his screen was at full brightness, blasting right into my eyes.

I moved away from the potato chips-munching women, leaving a seat between me and them. And also the Whatsapp-checking mouthbreather dude in front of me.

The women started to quiet down. I don't know whether they got the message, or because Robert Pattinson was finally walking around with a gun.

When the film ended, they walked out of the cinema, looking as if they had just underwent the most miserable moment in their lives.

As for me, I rather enjoyed the film. In spite of them.