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Friday, October 14, 2005

Both Aisyalam and Hindi Short Film Projects Have Been Postponed. I'm stressed out.

One adversity after another.

The last few days have been exhausting and stressful. My oral presentation for Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus and critical review for Midsummer Night's Review may have been completed yesterday, and my attention shifted upon the film projects, particularly the Hindi sci-fi short film (as Aisyalam is officially postponed).

I mentioned yesterday that a film student acquaintance of mine would lend me a good film camera for shooting, but everything has to be completed by Monday. The idea of racing against time was stressful, especially knowing that I have maybe only ONE DAY to finish the entire fucking short film. Despite trying my best to write down plans and drawing storyboards for this last night, I dozed off halfway. Wong Kar Wai's 2046 was playing on my DVD player, Goldfrapp's Let It Take You was looping on my winamp player. Both would have served well whilst I was drawing the storyboard, but alas, I was too tired.

I tried working on it this afternoon again, hoping that by the time I get the camera at night, I would have a good idea how to frame my shots and everything else. Darren Aronofsky's Pi, which I borrowed from the library, was playing this time. A low-budget black and white film, similar to what I intend to do. Alas, exhaustion seeped into my bones, and sleep took me away without notice, without warning.

I can usually keep a clear mind during crises and adversities, thinking of all kinds of methods to solve them. First, the departure of my Hang Tuah actor, which postponed production, then, my inability to find a replacement, after that, the two Shakespearean assignments I have to deal with, followed by the knowledge that I HAVE to finish shooting my short film in only one fucking day (since the main actor of my Hindi film is only available on Saturdayts) as that is how long I can have the university's film camera. Although I may have been calm, all these did leave me rather tired, and I found myself spending the entire day sleeping.

Being a one-man filming crew can be quite tiring, no matter how good your organizing and management skills are. I don't mind having a crew of my own, so that I don't have to be the one doing so many things at once. I'm fine if I have to be my own director, editor, cameraman, sound editor, producer. But expanding my duties to more than that is taking its toll on me. And all I can do is only mention them on this blog, which, unfortunately, is what most readers here barely give a damn about.

I AM writing for the wrong audience, my filmmaking endeavours pretty much mean nothing to most when everyone's only interested in me praising my own looks, putting up photos of myself doing various stuff. A blog, after all, is merely a comic relief to most, right? I'll revert to that sometime soon, when I am less busy with my filmmaking.

Anyway, just hours ago, I was awakened from my (unexpected) slumber by the chiming sound of my mobile phone announcing a new SMS message. It was from the film student acquaintance of mine, telling me that he was unable to get me the film camera as he needed it for his university project. Therefore, in the end, my original plan of using a good video camera was dashed.

Guess I'll be using my own camcorder for the Hindi short film. The bright side? At least I don't have to fret about racing against time as I can take my time making sure the whole thing's good enough.