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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's My Little Sister's Birthday. Her Existence Is Important To ALL OF YOU!

On the 13th of September, 1989, seventeen years ago, when I was 5, I remembered being pick up from the kindergarten early by my dad and being rushed to the hospital so that we can wait for the birth of my little sister. My grandmother was there too.

My memories of that day are hazy, I could only remember the nurses carrying my little sister out after a few hours of waiting, and, well, being a tiny little baby, she looked more like a guy than a girl. (And I am proud to say that over the years, my sister had filled in the void of a little brother too, which is absolutely cool.)

Posing whilst newborn sister is sleeping.

I fell asleep in the end.

My sister. 4 days old.

Carrying my newborn sister.
My sister. Nearly two weeks old.

Anyway, there's not much to say. My cute little sister, despite turning seventeen today, is still sickeningly cute, and looks way younger than her age. Just look at her chubby CHUBBY cheeks! OMFG!

Happy Birthday!

And now, I will unleash the sheer cuteness of my little sister by displaying photos of her over the years.

Little Sister Carrying A Snake.
Born in the Year of the Snake, my little sister, even as a toddler, never had any fear for snakes. She was even thinking of tearing the one she was holding into half. Not even Samuel L Jackson can be cooler.

Tiptoeing Little Sister.
Taken last year at Wuyishan, China, she was skipping through the rocks, not even afraid of the piranhas waiting for her.

Little Sister in a Kimono
And this is my little sister, wearing a kimono last year, right before she went off to assassinate someone.

I will now tell you why my little sister's existence is important.

If she had chosen to be a blogger, she would've been easily bigger than the likes of Xiaxue, Dawn Yang (honestly, Dawnie-poo would never have known about me if it weren't for my little sister), Kenny Sia put together with the use of her sheer sickening cuteness. A picture of her puffing up her chubby cheeks would have shot her to instant stardom without any need to start a controversy or be funny. Now, forget Malaysia and Singapore, she would've easily dominated the Technorati rankings, so powerful that she would've made Michelle Malkin (political blogger from US, No. 12) and Xu Jing Lei (actress/filmmaker from China, currently No. 1) jealous. The only BoingBoing in the world would be the sound of her chubby cheeks were being poked. Her daily traffic would've been insane, as each and every single one of her blog entry would be Dugg, Reddited, or Slashdotted, because no one can deny the usefulness of her worlds. No one. Not even those who are illiterate.

If my little sister had chosen to be a Youtube vlogger, she would've been easily bigger than the likes of LonelyGirl15 (yes, I know she's not real, and had just been uncovered today as an actress of a filmmaker's project named Jessica Rose, but hey, if my sister's that crazy for fame, she would've done the same by enlisting the help of her genius filmmaker brother) or Cutiemish (so yeah, she can play the Tetris song on the piano, big deal, my little sister's so hardcore that if both of her hands were cut off, she could've easily played the song with her tongue).

If my little sister had chosen to dominate Myspace. She would've been easily Vanity Fair's Queen of Myspace, not Christine Dolce. Teenage boys would weep and kneel in reverence solely because my sister existed. Myspace's membership would quadruple in mere days because every Tom, Dick and Harry, many of them Hollywood celebrities, some of them the world's most powerful politicians, and also the Pope and the Queen of England themselves, would like to add her to their friends list.

If my little sister had chosen to be a writer. Even if her entire novel has only a single word, she would've gained a much larger following than JK Rowling, Neil Gaiman, or, er, L. Ron Hubbard, with her book outselling the entire Harry Potter series in two days, and the Bible in a week. Guestblogger Justin would've been even more suicidal, realizing that even if he could be Akutagawa, Kawabata and Mishima at once in his writings, my sister could've easily redefine the literary scene, churning out twenty sonnets, ten haikus and a Nobel Prize-worthy novella in a day, so prolific she would be that she could achieve more in a minute than Justin could achieve in a lifetime.

If my little sister had chosen to be a filmmaker. This time, I would be the one feeling suicidal, knowing that all the film awards, film festivals, box-office receipts in the world would've dominated only by my sister. The entire Hollywood system would collapse. The indie directors would gouge their eyes out, realizing that they lack the indie cred my sister has, they lack the creativity, the technical skills, the sincerity, the passion, the drive.

Yet she chose none of them.

Preferring to live a low-profile Zen-like existence, disregarding fame and glory, denying the outside world a chance to witness her greatness. My little sister seeks normalcy, living her own life in seclusion, allowing others the opportunity to write history, start religions, to become celebrities, to attain ungodly fame and wealth, to amass their own army of rabid fans. Yet know this, whatever you have achieved, you achieved it because my little sister allowed you to.

And that is why my little sister's existence is important.

Believe it.

Sandra Frowns

Happy Birthday!

... now, wish her a happy birthday too, y'all!