After a day, things started sinking in. Its absence more strongly felt. Overwhelmed by a feeling of numbness, I tried to eulogize it on Facebook while sharing a link which listed a number of great Grantland articles that had accompanied me over the past few years.
This was what I wrote:
Grantland just got shut down yesterday. It's been long time since I felt so much sadness for the closing of a website, therefore I feel that I should be writing more about it...
When I was reminded that it started in 2011, I was couldn't believe it. Has it only been 4 years? It felt so much longer, maybe because I've been visiting the site everyday. At first, I was there for the sports stuff, the NBA articles were great. But gradually, the great film, television and other pop culture articles begin to appear. The writing is exquisite, and being in longform, it was absolutely a pleasure to go through them, immersing myself in the fine writing, the great content. Zach Lowe's intricate coverage of the NBA, Brian Phillip's almost-mythical tennis articles (his "Sea of Crises", which covers sumo, Mishima Yukio's seppuku during a trip in Japan is a delicious piece of writing which is as good as any literary work I've read), Wesley Morris' wonderful film reviews (I found myself nodding happily last year when he lauded Lav Diaz's NORTE as an "honest-to-goodness masterpiece"), Rembert Browne's coverage of Ferguson, Molly Lambert's illuminating album and TV reviews etc. Reading them had given me so much joy, it's probably the website that I visit most daily (aside from Facebook). Because it is exciting whenever they have new articles online.
And now it's all gone. Since then, numerous websites have shared their list of all-time favourite Grantland articles, and rereading them is giving me such a bittersweet feeling. The NBA season had just started, and sadly, strangely, I find myself at a loss.
What do I do now? Finish the last few pages of Murakami's WILD SHEEP CHASE, go through another few stories from Italo Calvino's ITALIAN FOLKTALES. Start my writing. Finish my editing. Perhaps make a longer list of things to do, just to distract myself from the growing void.