We Have Lost Even This Twilight: Remembering my trip to Pablo Neruda's houses in 2007

Last night, a friend posted on Facebook a Chinese translation of Pablo Neruda's CLENCHED SOUL (which was retitled as "We have lost even this twilight", just like the original Spanish title).

我們甚至失去了黃昏
詩／聶魯達　譯／李宗榮

我們甚至失去了黃昏的顏色。
當藍色的夜墜落在世界時，
沒人看見我們手牽著手。

從我的窗戶中我已經看見
在遙遠的山頂上落日的祭典。

有時候一片太陽
在我的雙掌間如硬幣燃燒。

在你熟知的我的哀傷中
我憶及了你，靈魂肅斂。

彼時，你在哪裡呢？
那裡還有些什麼人？
說些什麼？
為什麼當我哀傷且感覺到你遠離時，
全部的愛會突如其然的來臨呢？

暮色中如常發生的，
書本掉落了下來，
我的披肩像受傷的小狗踡躺在腳邊。

總是如此，
朝暮色抹去雕像的方向
你總是藉黃昏隱沒。

Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

Seeing the poem, I cannot help but remember my pilgrimage to his three houses, La Chascona, La Sebastiana and Isla Negra, in Chile back in 2007. Has it been six years already? It felt like another life. I was in Chile for the Santiago Film Festival (SANFIC), it was the first ever film festival I attended either as a producer or a director. I went there for Ming Jin's THE ELEPHANT AND THE SEA, and stayed in Chile two days after the festival ended so that I could visit all of the houses.

The idea of attending a friend's wedding had always been...

The idea of attending a friend's wedding had always been a scary one. They remind him of the passing of time, or his inability to find love.

Yet this was an invitation that he was unable to turn down.

Honen-in Temple and Junichiro Tanizaki

I'm at Kansai Airport while I'm writing this, waiting to fly away.

Yesterday, I visited the famed Ginkakuji Temple and took a stroll through the Philosopher's Path. I wasn't sure what to expect from this solitary journey, except to be alone with my thoughts as I absorb the sights, the sounds, the scent of this historic place.

There were some temples and shrines along the way, I decided to pick one randomly to visit.

A stroll through Ginkakuji Temple and the Philosopher's Path

By the time this is posted on the blog, I am a few hours away from flying back to Malaysia.

On Saturday, I got sidetracked by cheerleaders and cosplayers at Heian Temple, and then by a great art exhibition at the National Museum of Modern Art, Kyoto, when I was on my way to Ginkaku-ji 銀閣寺, the Temple of Silver Pavilion. By the time I reached Ginkaku-ji in the evening, I was already closed.

Therefore, Sunday, my final day in Kyoto, I decided to rectify this regret of mine by heading straight to Ginkaku-ji right after lunch.

To experience the place for myself.

So I entered Ginkakuji (which is officially known as Jisho-ji 慈照寺).

GLORIA & LEON, a video installation by Miwa Yanagi

The original plan yesterday was to visit Ginkakuji and walk the Philosopher's Path, but my plans were foiled by a sudden afternoon rain.

So I took shelter at the National Museum of Modern Arts, Kyoto, and also bought a ticket to check out their "Reading Cinema, Finding Words: Art after Marcel Broodthaers" exhibition.

This is how the exhibition was described on the Museum website:

Cheerleaders and Cosplayers at Heian Shrine, Kyoto

I've been in Kyoto the past few days because I was invited to screen my short films and give a talk at Kyoto University on the 6th of September.


The following day, I decided to explore Kyoto. (my last visit in Kyoto was December 31, 2008, and chronicled on this epic video, that's a lifetime ago) My first thought was to go to the Philosopher's Path and the legendary Ginkaku-ji for a leisurely stroll. My last visit there was in 1999-2000, my memories of that place were entirely hazy.

After lunch, I hopped onto a bus, heading towards my intended destination.

However, when I passed by Heian Shrine 平安神宮, a few things caught my eye: