Why did I watch Big Momma's House 2?

Do not believe what everyone else said, Big Momma's House 2 is absolutely a necessary sequel. There is a need to see Martin Lawrence going around dressing up like a fat woman again, and then bonding with three children in your typical Hollywood manufactured warmhearted scenes that are similar to the gazillions (pardon me, but what is bigger than gazillion? Bazillion?) of inoffensive family films out there. There is a need to see Big Momma in a bathing suit to understand the true concept of being grossed out (yeah, look at left pic to suffer what I suffered).

Six years have passed since Big Momma's House 1, but I am sure absolutely everyone's hungry for this sequel, since it did make 28 million during its first weekend in the United States despite everyone pretending to complain about it before its release. And hey, I'm sure we are always craving for films about poor misfits teaching seemingly rich but emotionally lacking people what is it like to be a family. Hey, having a somewhat good intentioned family comedy is good for families, right? Good to strengthen family ties. Yeap. Maybe it'll work for kids, or people in their early teens, but if this is a film meant to appeal to the masses, then the crowd it will entertain will most probably be pretty small.

My Recommended Valentine's Day Films Part 3: Hollywood Films

Well, this is the hardest part of my romantic film recommendation series. How can I possibly compile a decent list of Hollywood films when there are so many of them out there?? Hmm. Once again, I'll try to separate them via categories. As for the film reviews, I'm not going to painstakingly put them up, you can do your own search at Roger Ebert's, or head to Rottentomatoes. Click title for info.

Once again, I'm going more for feel-good films than the sad and tragic ones. And I'm also avoiding three hour epics, so nope, I won't be mentioning that little film about that sinking ship (... I'll probably get lynched if I do anyway). I would recommend Brokeback Mountain, but it's too depressing for V.day viewing too.

CAPOTE, Bennett Miller's impressive film debut, Philip Seymour Hoffman's great performance

I felt disturbed when watching the biopic, Capote. Maybe it had to do with how much Truman Capote reminded me of, well, myself. Except the gay and effeminate part. Both of us are ambitious, egoistic, manipulative, charismatic, persuasive... well, the fact that I’m drawing comparisons between Truman Capote and myself in a film review should speak volumes about my ego.

Anyway, this is a biopic of Truman Capote, but thankfully, it isn't the type which begins with a childhood event and then ends with a death scene. Nope, this, like many of the recent biopics, focuses only on a pivotal event of the person's life, and in the case of this film: the six years Truman Capote spent to write the groundbreaking non-fiction book 'In Cold Blood' (he used a style which made the whole thing look like a gripping fictional novel instead of some dry report. Check out Wikipedia's entry about New Journalism) that became an international bestseller and made him, according to the film ending, the most popular writer in America.

My Recommended Valentine's Day Films Part 2: Japanese, Korean and Other Asian Films

While compiling the list for part 2 of my recommended Valentine's Day films, which will focus on Korean and Japanese films, I was suddenly struck by a chilling realization that had never occurred to me before. Despite watching quite a number of Japanese films, there just doesn't seem to be an absolute romantic film that really stuck to me. Unlike the Koreans, whose amount of sentimental and melodramatic romantic films are more than enough to flood an entire nation and make everyone die of diabetes, almost every single good Japanese film I can remember isn't exactly pure love stories. Just thrillers, action films, psychodramas, sci-fi tales, horror tales with maybe a bit of subtle romance tossed in as a subplot.

I wonder why. Maybe it's because the Japanese are somewhat more cynical than the Koreans, hence they don't really make all those fullblown romantic melodrama the Koreans are so famous for? But then, to be fair, the Japanese television dramas are entirely a different story, I can remember most of the finer classic J-doramas I've watched over the years that are great romances, mostly those Takuya Kimura stuff. One something light-hearted and sweet? Go for Love Generation (simple love story between two yuppies) or Long Vacation (simple love story between a pianist and a girl who moved into his place). One something that will make you weep? Go for Beautiful Life (simple love story between a hairdresser and a dying librarian).

But this is a list of films, not television, and it won't be a long list like the previous one since it IS very difficult to come up with GOOD Japanese romance films (as I haven't exactly been exposed to that many of them) and I don't intend to let an entire list flooded by only Korean films. Once again, I'm aiming more for happier films, or at least, bittersweet ones, not the depressingly sad ones. But I'll be separating them via categories.

My Recommended Valentine's Day Films Part 1 - Hong Kong Films.

Well, Valentine's Day is coming, and it's up to me, the Great Swifty, to recommend to you all some of the finest romance films (in my own opinion) to watch with your loved ones, or, erm, in my case, by myself just so that you won't feel so alone. All right, it'll make you feel more alone, but hey, who gives a shit when you're watching a good movie right?

So, for the next few days, I'll be providing a list of films from different countries to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Perhaps after HK, I'll look at Japanese and Korean, then Hollywood (which, naturally, will have a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG list).

My personal criteria for such films is simple, they should be mostly romantic, sweet stuff instead of angsty tragic stuff. But then, since tearjerkers do work fine too (for couples, so they can hold each other while bawling their eyes out, not recommended for singles, who will be driven to suicide by the overwhelming angst).

These films aren't in any particular order (well, maybe from the earliest to the most recent), and I shall provide ten of them.

THE NOTEBOOK

Well, since Valentine's Day is coming in a week, I have prepared to get myself into a romantic mood by watching some romantic flicks in the past few days. Two days ago, I went with the Korean flick Il Mare (currently being remade by Hollywood with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in it) and Tim Burton's animated feature, Corpse Bride, then last night, I checked out the much talked about 'The Notebook'.

Despite having the DVDs for quite a while, I've never gotten the chance to actually view it, but to most of my female friends whom I lent the DVD to, almost none of them told me that they did NOT cry at the film. Not knowing whether I could take another emotionally-charged film about Alzheimer's Disease after being emotionally-raped by the over-the-top emo Korean film, Moments of Love (sad and tragic tale of a young woman in her 20s suffering from Alzheimer whilst her poor husband had to suffer, read Lovehkfilm.com's review here), I had always left The Notebook in my shelf.

Ang Lee's BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is heartbreaking

Everything that can be said about this film in a review has already been said by most American critics here. And based on Technorati, it's been the most talked about film for the past few weeks since its victory at the Golden Globes. So what can I say about Brokeback Mountain in this review of mine to make it not sound identical to the thousands and thousands of film critics and bloggers out there? Alas I am at a loss.

Even the Malaysian Chinese media, usually stingy over its coverage on the Awards season, has spent day after day reporting on its awards haul and raining praises on director Ang Lee. Chinese newspapers haven't paid that much attention to the Oscars since, oh, right, when Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon came out. If Ang Lee wins the awards for Best Picture and Best Director during the Oscars, he will become the first Asian director to ever do so, not even the legendary Akira Kurosawa had done this. Even if viewer ratings are going to be low in America, I'm sure it'll set records in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

The Shopaholics 最爱女人购物狂 by Wai Ka Fai

This movie is a difficult one to review, since I walked out of the cinemas with mixed feelings after seeing it. One part of me felt that I was robbed, and agreed with my sister that it was a pretty lame film since everything was so inconsequential, shallow and over-the-top silly. After all, it was just days after I've seen the old Chinese New Year screwball comedy Eight Happiness (starring Chow Yun Fat, Jackie Cheung and Raymond Wong, along with Bobo Fung, Dodo Cheng etc), despite how dumb the latter was, it was a film with heart and sincerity, the scenes between the siblings and their loved ones were affecting.

Why am I comparing Eighth Happiness with The Shopaholics? It's simple, The Shopaholics is directed by long-time Johnnie To collaborator, Wai Ka Fai. And Johnnie To was the one who directed Eighth Happiness (long before he became known for shooting his gritty crime drama and stylish triad films, Johnnie To was known for Stephen Chow movies like Justice My Foot!). And during their collaboration, both Wai Ka Fai and Johnnie To have done some great comedic gems like 'Needing You' (the film that entirely changed my perception of Andy Lau), 'Love on a Diet' and 'My Left Eye Sees Ghosts' (this film made me believe that Sammi Cheng, despite her commercial success, had always been very underrated as an actress).

I have wondered how Johnnie To and Wai Ka Fai collaborated in their films, if I ain't wrong, I think Johnnie To was the one who did most of the planning whilst Wai Ka Fai would be the one directing the people on set. And The Shopaholics might have confirmed my assumptions about their collaboration. Johnnie To is the storyteller, Wai Ka Fai's the technical guy.

VIDEOS: The beautiful Green Dragon waterfall at Wuyishan & a 4-year old Chinese tea-making prodigy

Malaysia's most prolific vlogger strikes again! I've spent the entire day editing these four video clips. Basically, it's a continuation of my China vacation videos (yes, it's incomplete). All these clips were shot on the same day, but since some of the stuff I witnessed were so interesting then that I've decided split them, so you can enjoy them separately.

Video of Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner. Wong Kar Wai-style.

Haven't been able to go online for the past three days. PAINFUL! PAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

VIDEO: Mi Ki's Birthday

Been a while since I've actually posted a video done by myself. Just returned from my Grandmother's house. There should be numerous Chinese New Year-related videos to cement my place as Malaysia's most prolific vlogger, just give me some time to edit them all. Updates might be pretty few until I'm done with some videos.

As for this birthday video, it is of a friend's, done almost a year ago. I'm uploading it here after receiving permission from Mi Ki, the birthday gal in the video. Have fun.

Technorati tags: asian, girls, youtube, video, vlog, birthday, Friends

FEARLESS, Jet Li's Last Martial Arts Film?

Visiting the cinemas thrice in five days can be quite mindnumbing, but nevertheless, it is the Chinese New Year period, thus it is a little tradition of mine to see every single Chinese movie that's showing at the cinemas.

Fearless is widely-publicized as Jet Li's very last martial arts film and is a highly-fictionalized account of Huo Yuan Jia, founder of Jing Wu Men, a martial arts school in Shanghao, and a semi-prequel of sorts for Bruce Lee's film, Fist of Fury, and its 1994 remake, Fist of Legend (a Jet Li film!). (Huo Yuan Jia is the master of the films' protagonist, Chen Zhen, played by Bruce Lee and Jet Li)

There are a couple of reasons why this is the most looked-forward Chinese New Year blockbuster:

My Kung Fu Sweetheart 野蛮密笈

There are times when I want to become Malaysia's Wong Jing. I know this is a startling revelation for you all, that I would choose to be Wong Jing, instead of, say, Wong Kar Wai, or Ingmar Bergman, or Truffaut, or Godard, or Fellini, or even Tarantino, but the fact is, judging by the current indie film scene, Malaysia needs a Wong Jing-type guy.

His productivity is just simply prodigious (he made 5-6 films in a year, I struggled to finish one short film in a year), and the way he capitalizes and exploits the current popular trend in Hong Kong to rake in some cheap bucks clearly shows that he's a damned good businessman.

Stunning Photos of Waterfall, Rude Babies and Cute Puppies That Will Make You Cry

Yeah, I still have quite a number of photos taken during my trip in China that I haven't posted yet. The reason being that I wanted to finish making the videos of the trip (yes, it's still ongoing) before showing y'all this, but I guess it doesn't really matter. (If you want to view the earlier videos of my trip, check out my vlog section.)

Just click the photos for the large versions and their descriptions. They are all arranged in chronological order, taken at Wuyishan, China. The rest (from Shanghai) will come later.

Fun With Dick and Jane (I miss the serious Jim Carrey)

Maybe it had to do with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or maybe it happened even earlier, maybe it happened with Truman Show, or maybe it had to do with this long-kept secret of mine, that I actually ENJOYED the sentimental schmaltz The Majestic (I'm a sucker for courtroom scenes and all those generic BIG speeches).

But somehow, I just seem to enjoy Jim Carrey in a drama more than in a comedy these days. Despite being his personal top-grossing movie, I wasn't that impressed with Bruce Almighty (it was kinda good, but not THAT good). And despite the great-looking settings, Series of Unfortunate Events left me rather underwhelmed (and it didn't really strike me as a Jim Carrey film). Perhaps I am more impressed with his dramatic acting skills than his talent for humour, and that I am just as disgusted with the Academy for never giving him an Oscar nomination for either Truman Show or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But I'll get back to that later.

Good Night, And Good Luck

I believe one has to do some research on American history to really appreciate 'Good Night, And Good Luck', George Clooney's sophomore directorial effort, more as it is about an important political case that affected the entire nation back then. (Click here for the Wikipedia entry about McCarthyism, and here for the entry about Joseph McCarthy). I actually did some readings about this a couple of months ago when I learnt about the existence of this film and its subject matter, and well, to me, it was rather interesting.

A brief summary about McCarthyism:

C. L. Hor's The 3rd Generation is a Malaysian film masterpiece.

[Disclaimer: This entire post was written with a lot of sarcasm.]

It happened more than a week ago, when I chanced upon Jesscet's entry (I believe she's a writer for KL Lifestyle and possibly a journalist for Malay Mail) about the Malaysian production, 'The Third Generation' where she mentioned that the film being billed as the very first 'Cantonese art film in Malaysia'.

Never much of a fan of anyone who labels non-mainstream films as 'art films, I left a comment showing my curiosity.

"First Cantonese art film in Malaysia? Really? What about those stuff by James Lee? I just feel that the term 'art film' is highly subjective. Usually used to describe aethestically-pleasing (that's rather debatable) non-mainstream films ala Wong Kar Wai's works, or in America, non-mainstream films that are shown in arthouse cinemas (instead of those cineplexes), knowing that 'art' films are generally non-profitable, I find it strange that the filmmakers of 'The Third Generation' would label their own film as an 'art' film. Let alone, the first ever in Malaysia."

(Note: I mentioned James Lee because his 'Beautiful Washing Machine' was mostly in Cantonese, whilst both Ho Yuhang and Tan Chui Mui's works were in Mandarin)

Some Dystopian Tale Part 3: Heroic Xiaxue Slayers

This is a Paul Di Filippo-inspired fictional (satirical?) dystopic, sorta sci-fi/fantasy tale that is serialized on this blog every week.

Part 1: The Political Activist And His Murderous Little Birds is here.
Part 2: Bloggers Who Do Lots of Cutting And Pasting is here.

---

Jeff Ooi
Liewcf
Kahsoon

I wrote their names on a piece of paper, taking note of the once-mighty Malaysian bloggers I've met in Kuala Lumpur thus far, and then struck them off, a reminder that I won't interview them for a future documentary, considering their rather unstable emotional state.

Petaling Street was near, the omnipresent stalls, the pirated dvd and vcd vendors, reduced to half of their original number since the death of the Internet, yet the rumbling and buzzing of noises remained, people screaming the prices of their wares, and potential buyers haggling with them. Rumours have said that many bloggers have chosen to stay here, Petaling Street, the place, the chinatown in Kuala Lumpur, being treated as a replacement of the former blog aggregrator, Project Petaling Street. Oh the irony.

Steven Erikson - Midnight Tides

If you call yourself a fantasy fan, and you have yet to read anything by Steven Erikson (or George R R Martin), you ought to be ashamed of yourself. After I finished reading Storm of Swords by George R R Martin back in 2000, I had no idea that I was going to wait for more than half a decade for the next Song of Ice and Fire to come out.

Chen Kaige's THE PROMISE 无极

Nicholas Tse saved this film from the pits of suckiness.

Now, don't scoff. When his once-promising career was hindered by the numerous scandals he was involved in during the past few years (messy breakups, brush with the law etc.), the likes of Shawn Yu and Edison Chen managed to flourish in his absence with their undeserving appearances in high-profile HK films, but once Nicholas Tse is at the top of his game, not even Jang Dong-Gun could compete with him in terms of charisma and coolness, let alone those two pretenders.

As the preening, flamboyant prettyboy villain in 'The Promise', Nicholas Tse easily stole the show away from the rest of the cast. So impressive he was that the film would feel flat and lifeless during his absence, and one would long for him to appear again just to have him torment our boring protagonists.

More Indescribably Beautiful Photos Of Wuyishan China!

More photos from Tianyou Peak, along with some photos taken at the 'town of tea makers'. Wuyishan is known for its tea. Just click the pics for the large version.

Swifty's Blogosphere Tale Part 2: Bloggers Who Do Lots of Cutting And Pasting.

Chapter 2

by Edmund Yeo

I didn't know how long I've ran from the crazed Jeff Ooi and his murderous little birds. Running through the streets of Kuala Lumpur, I saw nothing but death and destruction, wrecked cars, collapsed buildings? Scavengers gathered around cars, breaking them apart, stealing whatever they saw from within. I snuck into the shadows, careful not to attract any attention as I filmed those people in secret, I was standing in front of the abandoned building which was once known as the Central Market. I knew I wasn't that far away from Petaling Street.

Some Dystopian Tale Part 1: The Political Activist And His Murderous Little Birds

Chapter 1

by Edmund Yeo
Inspired by Paul Di Filippo

The internet went down with a mighty crash. The silence that followed was deafening.

I know, I needed a better opening line than that, but give me a break, the entire world changed on that fateful day, I just can't come up with anything dramatic to describe the events. I'll leave it to the journalists, I'm sure they would've cooked up something more, I don't know, original.

But anyway, the Internet collapsed. Decades of technology immediately rendered useless.

Photos of Wuyishan (China): Tianyou Peak, Wuyi Mountain

I'm putting up more photos I've taken during my China vacation. I took these photos when I was climbing Tianyou Peak 天游峰 of Wuyi Mountain. Was holding the camcorder in one hand and a camera in another while climbing a mountain. Did some photoshop work with them as an experiment.

Click the photos for the larger version.

First Entry of 2006! Happy New Year!

It would've been a boring new year. I would've been doing nothing but staying at home editing my China vacation videos whilst waiting painfully for the end of 2005, and the beginning of 2006. I would stare blankly at my blog, wondering what I would write to my dear readers (or rather, the remainder of my existing readers).

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

Edmund Pervensie had always been one of my favourite literary characters during my childhood. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that we share the same name, but when I first read the Narnia books back when I was 12, I was always annoyed by the entire 'goody-two-shoe'/ holier-than-thou/ sanctimonious attitude adopted by most of the protagonists. Aslan and the two elder Pervensie children had always been flat and lifeless, but Edmund was different, like normal humans, he possessed personal desires, dark emotions and such, obviously, I could relate more to him than to the others.

So, almost a decade had passed, and he, along with Aslan (of course), remained the only characters I could remember from Narnia. 'Edmund The Traitor', 'Edmund The Backstabbing Bastard' were the names I fondly remember him as. After all, if I were surrounded by annoyingly holy and patronizing siblings like he did, I would be pissed too.

I'm Malaysia's Very First Video Blogger?

Well, the very first Malaysian guy with video blog to add himself onto the Vlogmap anyway. However, when I went off to check the map again just moments ago, it seems that there's this other Malaysian video blog too. I'm not... unique anymore. Ah well.

Peter Jackson's KING KONG

Saw King Kong yesterday on Christmas. I agree with Roger Ebert's review (and most other US critics'). This film is pretty great.

Zhang Yimou's RIDING ALONE FOR THOUSAND OF MILES 千里走单骑

After making two consecutive big-budget martial arts flicks, the wonderful 'Hero' and the crappy 'House of Thousand Daggers', Zhang Yimou returns to making a simplistic and low-budget drama starring veteran Japanese actor, Takakura Ken.

I saw this film in Shanghai on the 22nd of December, the day of its release. And I think it's going to flop badly in the box-office... considering the fact that MY DAD AND I WERE THE ONLY ONES SEEING THIS FILM IN THE CINEMA!

Zathura

Remember Jumanji? I remembered liking it when I saw it ten years ago. I even had the laser disc (that was before the time of DVDs) and watched it numerous times. Never failed to like it. Robin Williams and Bonnie Hunt were funny. And Kirsten Dunst was, well, young.

And Jumanji was the sole reason I went to see Zathura (both were based on books by the same author, and I believe Zathura was supposedly an unrelated sequel). All right, it did get some solid reviews at Rotten Tomatoes too.

Summary? Two bickering siblings find a board game at the basement of their house while their dad (Tim Robbins) is out for work. Then when they start playing, their entire freaking house is launched sent into space, and they meet scary aliens, killer robots and mysterious stranded astronauts. Things can only revert to normal if they can finish the board game, but can they put aside their differences and do so?

This is a decent and simple film. Just imagine Jumanji in space, but less complications and subplots, or probably less budget too. Basically, the film's centered around the relationship between the two brothers, and the child actors did pretty well in here, with the continuous argument and their intense rivalry. I won't really bother watching it twice (like I did with Jumanji, but then, I might have liked Jumanji that much due to my age back then), but it does have a nice little twist in the end.

Photos Of China's Stunning Scenery! (Part 1)

First of all, Edrei, Char, thanks for guestblogging for me during my absence. My shoes are hard to fill, and no mere mortal can do it easily, but both of you have done an, ah, admirable job. Guestblogger Justin's been busy too, as you can see from his last entry.

Anyway, no, I'm not going into detail about what truly occurred during the last two weeks in China, I have filmed them all and will attempt to edit (shitloads of) videos for my video blog entries, I mean, let's face it, I'm sure everyone's more interested in seeing my transform the entire vacation into a narrative video/music video than to have me droning on and on about what happened to me via written word.

Therefore, what I'm going to do now is merely upload the photos I've taken (mostly digitally manipulated to make up for the shortcomings of my own digital camera) throughout the entire trip (yes, basically, I had a camcorder in one hand, and a generic camera in another, which made mountain climbing more ardous for myself).

The Obscure Cynical-Idealist reviews Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell in Swifty's absence

Now that the Great Swifty has briefly left the midst of our blogosphere, it is my duty to follow after the Great Kamigoroshi's footsteps and guestblog on the Great Swifty's online abode.

Oh, but who am I to speaketh on the gloriously beautiful pages of this blog?

I, am none other than the ever humble fencetop lover, the one who has gladly sunk into obscurity in search of inner peace, the one and only Cynical-Idealist.

Okay, flowery language aside, I'm not here to spam this blog and whore mine, although my link is up there just in case no one remembers me. I've come to sing praises of a book.



I've just finished reading Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Susanna Clarke's first ever novel and currently a well-acclaimed bestseller. I've had such a delightful time reading it that I've decided to kickstart my guestblogging here by reviewing this book.

PERHAPS LOVE 如果．愛

This is the first Hong Kong musical in almost three decades, and is the country's Oscar representative. The four main cast members are from four different countries, Jacky Cheung (HK), Takeshi Kaneshiro (Taiwan, although you can put Japan in there if you want to), Zhou Xun (China), and Jin Ji Hee (Korea).

'Perhaps Love' Film Premiere

'Perhaps Love' is the first HK musical in almost thirty years (maybe more), and stars HK musical icon, Jackie Cheung, Taiwanese superstar Takeshi Kaneshiro (the guy in House of Flying Daggers and Chungking Express), rising Chinese actress Zhou Xun (the chick in Balzac and the Chinese Seamstress and Xiu Xiu) and Korean TV star Jin Ji Hee.

It all began when my dad received an invitation from Astro (Malaysia's satellite TV company) to attend the premiere few days ago.

The HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE film is quite good

I tend to enjoy the Harry Potter films more than my little sister does, probably because I don't expect an entirely faithful adaptation of the books. I regard the films as completely separate entities from the books, in fact, I even totally DISREGARD the existences of the book when I'm watching the films. And that's why I usually compare the Harry Potter films with EACH OTHER instead of with the books.

I completed NaNoWriMo!

So yeah, I managed to hit 50k words today. I went into a writing spree yesterday which resulted in me doing about 5000-6000 words. I'm rather satisfied, but it merely means that I can breathe easy now and attempt to finish what I've written at my own pace (the story's incomplete, and the last few parts were rushed jobs, I intend to insert scenes between what I've written to flesh things out more).

I will see whether I intend to serialize my story online, while I think it's reasonably good and rather unconventional (despite having a hybrid fantasy/sci-fi settings, this tale is more like a love story/social commentary/coming-of-age tale than a generic 'hero goes on a quest to save the world from the almighty lord of evil' story), I have to ensure that it is as presentable as possible for my readers. So yeah, stay tuned.

So, is there a celebration of sorts for Malaysian Nano-ers?

NaNoWriMo Deadline Beckons, I'm Slightly Anxious.

I am near 45 000. Will make the one final push towards hitting 50 000 tomorrow. The reason why I worked slower than I've expected was because of the perfectionist within who wanted the work to be perfect when I hit 50 000, but I guess it's impossible to do so considering how many shit I had to juggle throughout the entire month of November, like...

1) Final assignments for my Shakespeare and Pop Literature class.
2) Final exams for Pop Literature
3) Preparation to return from Perth to Malaysia
4) ... the 'Sellout Week'
5) Playing host to a Japanese friend, Maiko, who came to Malaysia with me.
6) The Italian film festival

Not that I'm whining, but seriously, if I had only had to work on half of the things mentioned above, I could've probably finished my NaNoWriMo in around two weeks. Random notes of the day.

Lavazza Italian Film Festival 2005: 'Manuale D'Amore' and 'Cantando Dietroi I Paraventi'

I managed to catch two films at the Perth Italian Film Festival.

Thoughts on 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang', 'The Constant Gardener' and 'Elizabethtown'

Quick thoughts on a few films

The Bumper Book of Completely Useless Japanese Inventions

It's not often that I feel a book is important enough to give it above-the-line review status. Some of my favorite novels of recent times didn't make it, so I couldn't think of what else would. But that was before I read The Bumper Book of unUseless Japanese Inventions.

大家谈一谈金马奖吧！

嗨！大家好！我姓杨名叫毅恒。笔名是Eliar Swiftfire或者是Swifty。我并不清楚如何翻译自己的笔名，所以还是叫我扬大人吧，如果觉得不好意思的话，您可以叫我恒恒，听起来瞒亲切的！

虽然本大爷是受中文教育的，可是由于从小到大都比较喜欢看英文小说，所以英文水准比中文水准高得多。对我而言，输入中文字体实在是一件非常麻烦的事！可是为了吸引更多的读者来这网站，我只好默默地赏试以中文来与大家沟通。请勿见怪！

INTRODUCING...MICHAEL PETERSON

Hello, my name is Michael Peterson, and I was invited to guestblog here at "The Great Swifty Speaketh," because Justin and Swifty have both sold out, making them irrelevant in the internet community. Because on the internet, we value things that are INDY. If you didn"t like them before they were cool, then your opinion is without merit! Only conforming to Ape Law will let you live amongst the tribe! I have been brought in to save this site from its Timberlake-lovin" self. "Bring me 50 cc"s of Patchwork," Swifty said, and I was rushed in on a makeshift crash cart, still in my bath robe.

See, I am still INDY. I have known Justin since long before he was cool – he was, in fact, a slack-jawed convenience store employee who walked amongst the internet unwashed, like Christ in his early years. What"s more, you know for a fact that I am truly INDY because I shun the love of women. Right, Indy Rock Pete?

NaNoWriMo Progress Report (Day 12) Trying YET ANOTHER Fantasy Name Generator.

17000 words. So I did 2000 words after the last progress report. Things were getting talky, thus I changed the rhythm. Writing action scenes are harder for me compared to dialogue.

Also, the usual elven generator I use was down, thus I had to surf around to find another. Ended up finding THIS instead. Where you can type in your name and get your name of some Middle-Earth races (hobbits, elves, humans, dwarves and wizards) in return. A particular elven maiden is named after a particular much-talked about blogger.

Anyway, excerpts:

Yet the rats were getting closer, only meters away from the immobile sorceress. The knight stepped forward, his sword drawn, attempting to shield the rodents from her even though he knew it would be futile. Silently he whispered the prayer of the Zeltanian knights, and the blade upon his sword glowed white in response.

“Step aside, you dolt!” The sorceress shouted.

Despite his confusion, Erik did what she said, and she, with a loud sharp command, placed both of her hands upon the ground. Intricate runes of magic flared into life upon its surface, moving and spreading by themselves and towards the all-engulfing darkness and the stone walls of buildings around them. Pulsating silvery-white light of pure brilliance sliced through the sea of rats, bursting into explosions that sent dozens of tiny charred carcasses into the air. Rivers of light streaking through the sea of darkness.

NaNoWriMo Progress Report (Day 10) I'm in 'WRITING' Mode, Not 'FILMMAKING' Mode.

Hit 15000 words. I wrote 2000 words since my last progress report. I would have written more, but my time was spent on the previous entry, some grocery shopping, and watching some performances from people in my Shakespeare class.

Never in my life have I felt unexcited about preparing to shoot a film, yet this is how I feel now. For the very first time in my life.

I will be shooting my Hindi film tomorrow, and I can't say that I'm enthusiastic about it. Usually when I'm hit by inspiration to do something creative, I would rather do it as soon as possible because I am more motivated to do so, and I can expend all my energies upon it. Unfortunately, like Aisyalam, this Hindi project has been delayed too much that I cannot find the fire I had when I first develop my ideas for both film projects.

It's simple, I am currently in 'writing' mode, not 'filmmaking', I'm incapable of being in both modes simultaneously. Both are methods of telling stories, and for me, I prefer focusing my energies upon one particular story to ensure that it is perfect. That is why even if I am a writer myself, I prefer to have Guestblogger Justin doing the screenwriting for me so that I can just concentrate upon the filmmaking instead.

NanoWriMo has started, I have spent the last few days in full 'writing' mode. I have immersed myself so thoroughly into the world and characters of the novel I'm writing now that I have fallen head over heels in love with them. To be wrestled away from it now to work on my film is like the unwelcome arrival of a spurned lover appearing to win my affections again.

Anyway, here are the excerpts.

NaNoWriMo Progress Report (Day 9)

13000+ words. I've written 3000+ words today, Everything is starting to flow pretty well, once I can maintain this speed, I'll do fine. I would've actually written more if I hadn't gone to Fremantle for a break. However, I managed to finish Akutagawa Prize (highest literary honour in Japan) winner 'Snakes and Earrings' by Hitomi Kanehara while I was hanging out at the bookshop there, it was short read, think it took me less than an hour (I posted her photo in this entry). You may choose to Google her if you want to, I'm not putting up my book review until next month's edition of my Monthly Book Reviews.

Here are the excerpts.

In Defense of Fanfiction: Guestblogger Justin Goes Robin Hobbnobbing

If you had of asked me on a given day whether I'd one day end up passionately defending fanfiction, I would have given you a strange look. I don't read any of the stuff anymore, and my own endeavors in the field ceased long ago. And yet, I found myself reading Robin Hobb's rant (Swifty: The rant was taken down sometime after this entry was posted) with growing outrage, not just because I disagreed with Hobb's sentiments, but because I COULDN'T BELIEVE that a published author of some repute could hold opinions so closed-minded, reactionary, and ridiculous. The outrage, though, stemmed not so much from this as from the idea that Hobb's opinions, through her position as an eminent fantasy author, could actually discourage young writers from practicing fanfiction, and thus, exercising their creativity. Therefore, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE. THIS SHIT CANNOT STAND.

NanoWriMo Progress Report (Day 8)

I've past the 10 000 mark. Meaning that I have written nearly 4000 words since last night's progress report. I was stuck for a while, having difficulty rediscovering my rhythm, but once I did, it just went pretty smoothly. Some dialogue between characters have sorta elevate my novel beyond conventional fantasy bindings, I think.

On the other hand, I found this site which keeps track on the largest message boards and forums in the world. Rankings were done based on the amount of posts, but you can also view them based on the amount of members. Forum administrators might have to use the top-ranking message forums as a measuring stick. It might not be entirely accurate, and I'm sure some major forums aren't listed, but it's worth a look.

Now, some excerpts.

NanoWriMo Progress Report (Day 7)

After working on my Shakespeare assignment for days and submitting it (the lecturer seemingly loved it) I am now returning my attention to Nano-ing. Unfortunately, the three day break had broken my rhythm, and I found myself having more and more doubts while writing today's part. It's not actually writer's block, more like myself questioning whether what I'm write is really good enough, or is it going to suck?

I did write a little. I have 6345 words now, meaning that I've added nearly 800+ words from before. But I am still 8000 words behind. Which is kinda bad. Think I'll need to have some caffiene-aided writing sessions.

Parallels Between Terminator 3 And William Gibson's Neuromancer

An essay written for my Popular Literature, Sci-fi & Cyberculture class last week. Still busy working on my Shakespeare assignment, so you gotta make do with this.

NaNoWriMo Progress Report (Day 4)

Excerpts:

He plunged his hand into the pregnant woman's stomach, ripping out the fetus, squirming and oozing with blood. Laughing sadistically, he tossed the fetus into a cooking pot and started cooking.

It was going to be a fine night indeed.

The woman let loose a high-pitched scream, crumbling onto the floor like a rag doll, her stomach a gaping hole. Annoyed by her, he picked up a sledge hammer and bashed her head repeatedly until it was reduced to nothing more than a bloody pulp. Laughing in amusement, he licked the bits of brains and skulls off his hammer.

Junichiro Tanizaki - Naomi

Naomi by Junichiro Tanazaki
Description from amazon.com: Naomi is the first English translation of Tanizaki's first important novel (originally serialized in Japanese in 1924-25). It is a subtle adaptation to a Japanese setting of the basic story in Maugham's Of Human Bondage . Joji, the narrator, finds Naomi, a girl half his age, working in a cafe. He takes her to live with him, tries to groom her (with English and music lessons), indulges her whims, encourages her ``Western'' ways, and eventually marries her. She becomes a torment to him, but he is so obsessed with her that he tolerates even her infidelities as long as she will stay with him. The recurrent theme in Tanizaki's novels of the danger in sexual fascination may here represent a self-criticism of his youthful preoccupation with things.

NanoWriMo Progress Report (Day 3) Trying a Fantasy name generator

I managed to write 2200+ words, which brings my total to 5636, I'm still almost 400 short. I realized that many NanoWriMo writers from Malaysia are writing fantasy stuff, which is quite a surprise considering that just eight years ago, when I was form 1, my oral presentation about the fantasy genre was scoffed at, with most people being amused, or awed by my good looks, than really listening to what I said. Guess Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings have helped many in jumping onto the fantasy bandwagon.

Well, for me, coming up with names is always the hardest thing to do whilst writing fantasy, thus I use the Fantasy Name Generator. Great thingie to abuse. Hah!

More excerpts from what I've written thus far.

Eliar applauded when the man finished his poem by intoning the numerous ‘x’s, (twenty-three of them, Eliar counted) unfortunately, he was the only person clapping his hands. The other patrons were barely paying any attention. Lloyd was busy drinking his beer, while the other two, a young couple, were busy flirting and giggling.

“Seriously, I can never understand his poems.” Lloyd whispered.

“I don’t either.” Eliar agreed.

Thanking Sanford graciously for giving him a small bag of gold coins, Justinius got off from the table he was standing on and moved over to sit near Lloyd and Eliar.

“Ah. Eliar Swiftfire, I didn’t expect to see you here. What do you think of my poem?” Justinius asked, grinning.

“It’s great.” Eliar nodded while desperately finding words to praise the poem, but finding himself at a loss for words. He KNEW he was a MIGHTY wizard, but not a wordsmith nor a poet, so he could only settle for something simpler. “It’s really deep and stuff. Totally cultured, man.”

“Aye.” Lloyd added nonchalantly before ordering another mug of beer.

NanoWriMo Progress Report (Day 2)

3400 words written. 600 short from my target. As you can see by now, I'm targeting 2000 a day. I'm rather disappointed.

This story I'm writing now was meant to be a bridge between my unfinished novel and my Blogathon story (check my August archives, for crap's sake), a pseudo-prequel to the former and a pseudo-sequel to the latter, however, to really do that can be pretty restricting, My Blogathon story good enough as a standalone, leaving everything else to my readers' imaginations, while my unfinished novel is a product of my teenage fantasies, and writing style, so it is not good enough for me to use it now. Elements can be borrowed, but I can't based everything on it. What I write now HAS TO BE a standalone.

This means that I'm not working with a preexisting template, and without proper worldbuilding and planning. And also, in a way, creative collaboration fucked up my own vision, because I didn't really have any idea what was it that I was trying to write back then, an epic storyline about WHAT??? I had to frequently compromise some of the stuff I wanted with my partner (and he had to suffer the same fate as well). It was all bits and pieces of his ideas, and then mine. I was unable to reach the 4000 mark last night because I was so confused with the main plot that I had to visit Justin and try to spill out my original plan to him. Not because I wanted reassurance, but more like I wanted to articulate my ideas. It was something I used to do with my little sister in the past. Not being the type of person who keeps a note for stuff, this is my own method of remembering story ideas.

And this kinda brings me to an amusing incident with Kyels last night, when I sent her what I've written for NanoWriMo thus far, and immediately within five seconds, she told me it was 'cool!' and 'it has a cool storyline'. My jaw almost dropped open. I guess due to the fact that Kyels herself wasn't really into creative writing, she didn't really grasp the concept of me sending the story to her. And thus when I said "I need a reader!", it became more like I was seeking reassurance for what I've written.

NanoWriMo Progress (Day 1)

2122 words thus far. Two seemingly unrelated plot threads that take place in a world that is a fusion of fantasy and science fiction, where my imagination is boundless. It always sucks that so many fantasy writers out there allow themselves to be restrained by D&D rubbish, and not go further than that. And seriously, there are too many Pratchett wannabes out there whose smug and condescending prose style annoy more than amuse, but then, I was even worse than a Pratchett wannabe (since I've only read ONE Discworld book, and Good Omens, which he did with Neil Gaiman), I was a Pratchett wannabe wannabe whilst writing fanfics.

I was a fan of such writing, but when every Tom, Dick and Harry and their moms and grandmothers started praising praising Pratchett as if he were a god, not to say emulating his writing style as well, it was impossible for me not to feel mildly annoyed. It's not as if Discworld's the only fantasy series out there anyway.

Some excerpts of what I've written.

The sorceress muttered and groaned in her sleep. Despite his annoyance, Erik remained silent, carefully searching for an inn. She was heavier than he had expected, and he was soon bathed in sweat, panting and gasping for air. Above him, flocks of dragons flew past, accompanied by dozens of witches in brooms, laughing and singing.

“Damn. Another one of those illegal races again.” A man nearby grunted, looking up into the sky. “Can’t even get a good night’s sleep these days because of them.”

Joining NanoWriMo, here's what I'm going to write

And thus, I ended up joining NanoWriMo. Why? Because there is a story that has been floating in my mind for eight years and I intend to use this as motivation to finish it, or at least make something out of it. I'm not getting any younger (a strange phrase from a guy who's only 21), and if I let this wait anymore, I'm afraid I will outgrow this story, and all the efforts I've put in preparing it will be for naught.

What do I plan to write? Sorry, gotta keep this under wraps, let's just say that it's linked to this unfinished novel of mine and my Blogathon Story (go check out the August archives). It's a risky thing to do since I have a Shakespeare final assignment due next Monday, and also a take home exam for Popular Literature and Sci-Fi due on the 24th of November.

My SPEED mailing list is dead, I guess. Long live the SPEED mailing list.

The age of mailing list is over, message boards and forums are perhaps the best way to build a community these days. Or is it?

THE PREPOSITION

Despite being in Australia for almost a year and a half, I have yet to see an Australian film in the cinemas (but then, I haven't seen a Malaysian film in the cinemas at all throughout my entire life...). The fact is, hell, Hoyts (what it is in Australia is what TGV or Golden Screen are in Malaysia) don't bloody show Australian films much, just Hollywood. Well, there were some lame-looking comedies, and a Delta Goodren film during the first half of the year, but that's it. I could've seen the Delta Goodrem film if her goddamn duet with Brian McFadden hadn't made me hate her so utterly.

Anyway, I decided to remedy this drought of mine by checking out the newspapers, finding places where I can see a damn Aussie film. And voila! Turned out that there's actually a cinema at Fremantle which is hidden at the corner thus never really grabbed my attention throughout the thousands of times I've walked past it.

One Australian film I was looking out for was 'Little Fish', which isn't related to Tim Burton's 'Big Fish', but has Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving in it as recovering drug addicts. Galadriel and Elrond as recovering drug addicts, perfect.

Zen Mind Rape, Bitch!

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Many thanks to Sonic Youth and Ludwig Wittgenstein (who is too dead to know about the existence of this blog).

Hitomi Kanehara and Risa Wataya. Young, pretty Japanese novelists.

This afternoon, while I was hanging out in a bookshop (New Edition Bookshop in Fremantle), killing time, I stumbled upon a book called 'Snakes And Earrings' by some chick called Hitomi Kanehara, which, according to the cover, was awarded the Akutagawa Prize in 2004... Japan's highest literary prize. I picked it up cos' it was thin, and I knew I could just finish reading the last two chapters easily. But looking at the back of the book, I gasped when I saw the author photo. The author was a YOUNG CHICK! And not a bad-looking one either. The blurb said that she was 21 when she received the award, and further research when I returned to my flat revealed that she, and this other gal, Risa Wataya, are currently the youngest Akutagawa Prize winners EVER.





The left one is Kanehara, the right one is Wataya. Kanehara is a year older than I am, Wataya is a month older than I am. Both are yummy. Of course, when I read through the first chapter and last two chapters of 'Snakes and Earrings', I wasn't really blown away. Meditation on angst + minimalist + loneliness + solitude from the detached perspective of an emotionally stunted and confused young woman. Perhaps not my kind of thing.

Hm. But then, seeing how simplistic the entire novel was, I'm inspired to join NanoWriMo myself, after all, I could churn out 10000 words in one day (or 12 hours, to be more precise, since the other 12 was my partner posting up her pictures and illustrations) for the novel I wrote during Blogathon, 50000 wouldn't really be THAT hard. Right?

NIGHT WATCH (Nochnoy dozor)

'Night Watch' (Nochnoy dozor) is a Russian film, and it's much different from any of the other Russian films I've seen... oh wait, the only other Russian film I've ever seen was Russian Ark, which broke records as the entire film, 90+ minutes of it was filmed with ONE TAKE. The first film of a planned trilogy, this is a Gothic fantasy/action movie with vampires from opposing sides beating and killing the shit out of each other (okay, not really, one is supposed to be keeping tabs on the other like police), and was the top-grossing Russian film of all time when it was released last year (the record is broken by another film not too long ago). So yes, I've already heard a lot about this film long before it came out.

Chairman Mao Explains It All.

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Special thanks to Mao Zedong, Lenin and Chiang Kai Shek, who are too dead to know about the existence of this blog.

Vlog: Hanging out with Kenny Sia

Updated (24/9/2006): Shifted the video to Youtube.com

Unlike most of my other vlog entries, this one will have a bit more words in it. So yeah, two nights ago, I was approached by Cynthia via MSN about a meeting up with Kenny Sia, who is currently one of the most famous Malaysian bloggers with thousands of hits a day and dozens of media coverage and such. So, I dragged Guestblogger Justin along for the thingie.

So, in the end, ten people went. Cynthia, Cynthia's bf Kian (who kindly drove us to the cafe), Kenny, Nadia, Nadia's bf Bruce, Eunice, Jackson, Lena (who kindly drove us home, and has a secret, scariest thing is, she actually lived a couple of houses away from mine years ago before she moved away. A long lost neighbour!) and us. I had feared that this would be a 'bloggers meeting' where everyone would be talking about, er, blogging (kinda like attending a Trekkie gathering). Thankfully, my fears were unfounded. It was a decent meeting, with me straying away once the subject shifted to controversial Singapore celebrity blogger Xia Xue. (a better recap of the discussion can be found in Nadia's entry)

Unfortunately, just moments ago, when I saw Kenny's entry regarding this meeting, there was a photo of me that made me look SO HIDEOUSLY FAT that I almost wanted to gouge out my own eyeballs and crush them with my bare foot:

WHAT THE HELL?????????

How could I look like THIS just two days ago whilst guestblogging for Minishorts and become SOOOOOOO ridiculously bloated after that?

... and think that I actually PHOTOSHOP my own photos into making myself look skinny. Damn, I haven't seen myself look so freakishly obese ever since I came to Perth last year and lost 20+kg (yes, that's 40+ pounds). Oh well, at least I didn't look that bad in Cynthia's entry.

EDITED (31/10/2005): The video should be of higher quality than before as I've changed it from .mov to .mp4. Probably loads faster too.

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Video 1: The Great Swifty And Guestblogger Justin Meet Kenny Sia

I'm rather satisfied with this video, since it featured some camera and editing techniques that I intend to use on my Hindi short film, and my experiment actually worked (referring to the scene where Justin and I were hunting for an ATM machine).

Finding Meaning In Films

I had a rather lengthy MSN conversation with an aspiring filmmaker friend, Sebastian about my personal disdain when people start asking me about the 'moral' or the 'meaning' of a film, which I forgot to save... unfortunately. Take my own Forced Labour for example, I had to put up with people asking me 'hey! i've just watched it! sooo... what's the moral of the story? what's the msg?'.

My Friend Is A Reincarnation Of Xu Zhimo

I was exposed to the famous Chinese poet, Xu Zhimo early last year, and one of the eeriest thing about him is his striking resemblance to my friend (whose name is not really Alan Wong as mentioned in yesterday's post, in fact, he's Alex Yuen, he who worked with me on my novel years ago, but please don't let him know that his photos are being used on my blog).

Now, look at Alex's face in the comic.

Chubby Cheeks contest

(Updated: 23rd of October, 2005): This entry is actually posted on the day Malaysia's first lady, Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood passed away after a four-year battle with breast cancer. The nation is in mourning, once again remembering the cold sting of mortality and the unpredictability of death's touch. My parents have asked me to write something related to this sad event, but I declined, believing firmly that everything kind to say about her has been said or written already by the media and and many Malaysian bloggers. If I have intended to say something kind about her, I would come off sounding too insincere as my knowledge about her is entirely too limited.

I have already alluded to the Datin's passing with the title of this entry. The following web comic, which may soon become a recurring theme on my blog, was pretty an attempt to 'cheer' the nation up. At a time of mourning, when sadness and gloom pervaded the air, a moment of laughter, brief it may be, can only be the best remedy for everything. That is all I have to say.

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MUST LOVE DOGS starring Diane Lane and John Cusack

I am secretly a sucker for romantic comedies, although, come to think of it, it's really not THAT MUCH of a secret anymore these days. They are usually harmless fun, generic and cliched they may be. Of course, some good ones are really good, I still love the likes of When Harry Met Sally, Jerry Maguire, Sleepless In Seattle, My Sassy Gal (which is definitely THE ultimate Korean rom-com, EVER), the list goes on and on, which I don't want to continue sharing with you all since I still have a manly, macho reputation to protect.

Joss Whedon's SERENITY

I saw this film on Monday, which is six days ago, and I should've reviewed this if I've not been so busy dealing with the issues plaguing the production of my short films, and also the two assignments I have to work simultaneously on for my Shakespeare class (a Titus Andronicus oral presentation and a Midsummer Night's Dream critical review). Look at the entries during the past week and you'll understand what I mean.

Serenity is by Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy and Angel, both TV series I like. However, I am sceptical about this when I heard about this movie few months ago because:

Both Aisyalam and Hindi Short Film Projects Have Been Postponed. I'm stressed out.

One adversity after another.

The last few days have been exhausting and stressful. My oral presentation for Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus and critical review for Midsummer Night's Review may have been completed yesterday, and my attention shifted upon the film projects, particularly the Hindi sci-fi short film (as Aisyalam is officially postponed).

The Aisyalam Project Is Jinxed.

Never, when I made Forced Labour, did I have to face such adversity. As I've mentioned few days ago, I lost my actor for Hang Tuah (one of the two main guys), thus jeopardizing the fate of this ambitious sci-fi project.

I acted quick, and immediately contacted Johan's (my other main guy) sister's boyfriend to replace Abu, the original actor for Hang Tuah. On Monday night, he sounded interested, thus I sent an email to him immediately. No reply from him, so I waited until Tuesday, no reply either. Yesterday, I finally called him to speak to him in person (it was stressful, since I was at the same time working on an oral presentation on Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus, and an essay on Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream). Guy seemed unsure, told me to wait as he would return to me. Another night went past.

Almost lost my eyesight. I Now Appreciates The World More.

I woke up at 8:45am today, by the sound of my insanely loud ringtone of my mobile phone that doubles as my alarm clock. There will be a flat walthrough today, which is carried occasionally to ensure that students have kept their flats clean enough. I had to wake up and mop the floor.

Drowsily, I reached for the table next to my bed, trying to get my glasses... until I realized that it wasn't there. Opening my eyes in confusion, I started looking blindly for my glasses. It was all in vain because of my weak eyesight, well, not entirely THAT weak, just that all I see without glasses, is a blurry haze, where I can still see the shapes and forms, but not its details.

Preparing To Shoot Hindi Flick This Weekend.

While I'm still uncertain of the fate of Aisyalam, my upcoming ambitious sci-fi flick in Malay. Its spinoff might endure a much kinder fate.

The Hindi translation of my short film (the side project I mentioned here) is done. Will most probably begin shooting this weekend, as it is only going to be a couple of minutes long, the whole thing will probably be completed within days, I hope.

Lost my Hang Tuah. 'Aisyalam' Project Might Be In Development Hell.

It happened so quickly.

Abu is a friend of Johan's (my Hang Jebat), he was supposed to play Hang Tuah in my Aisyalam (in case you've missed my early entries, it's my upcoming short film which is based on a famous Malay folklore, but with sci-fi and noirish settings). He's rather big, bearded and seemed suited for the role of Hang Tuah. I first met him when he was doing this short film with a friend of mine, and then I met him again when he went to Johan's flat to play Tekken 4. Being quite a big guy, he left an impression. And when Aisyalam was developed, I was more than eager to ask him to play the role of Hang Tuah.

Trasharama A-go-go Film Festival

The Trasharama A-go-go is a short film festival held over here in Australia which showcases, according to its site, 'the cream of Australian Horror, Sci-fi, Bad Taste Comedies, Dodgymentaries, Sick Animations, B-grade Schlock and other Filmic Disasterpieces!!'. Basically, really low-budget B-movies, or even Z-movies.

An aborted fantasy novel project

No, this isn't an entry about world domination. This is more about a dream I had ever since I was 13, a dream that had lasted until today. Eight years ago, when I was 13, the very first day when Internet was installed in my home, I immediately came up with the name Eliar Swiftfire (!!!!) to join a role-playing chatroom.

I intend to make a Hindi short film

The production of my upcoming Malay-language sci-fi epic, Aisyalam, will most likely be postponed to next year as the end of the semester is near, and everyone will be too busy to get involved in such a massive project.

40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

Just came back from '40-Year-Old Virgin' with Justin. This is one of my most-anticipated movies especially after seeing the raving reviews it had been getting (84% in the Tomatometer of Rotten Tomatoes) and the unexpected domestic box-office success (101 million thus far, very good considering that this is Steve Carrell's first leading role in a film), and no, it doesn't disappoint.

Like most other reviews have said, this is a very good-hearted raunchy sex comedy, with lines and scenes that cracked me up so much that I had tears running down my cheeks towards the end of the film, but none of them I will reveal here because it is better for you to find them out yourselves.

Are We TRULY HONEST When Judging Artistic Works?

This will be a serious entry. So before going into it, I'm wishing Guestblogger Justin, Blogathon partner Lune and longtime net (occasionally real-life) pal, Aik 'Egg' Tiong a very happy belated birthday. The first two are now 21, the latter is now 20.

Wallace And Gromit: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

I had spent the last 20 minutes writing a rather lengthy review of 'Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit', but Blogger fucked up again, and I lost everything.

So I shall summarize what I wrote in that review.

Going To Make An English-Language Film Instead Of A Malay One. (Unless Someone Can Help With Translation)

"Are you ready to die?" - Tun Perak

"Always." - Hang Tuah

Sky High

Sky High is a story about Will Stronghold, the son of the two greatest superheroes in the world, going to an elite school responsibile for molding the superpowers of gifted teenagers... unfortunately, he doesn't have any superpowers at all. The whole angle of whether he will ever get his powers or not would have been very interesting and suspenseful if it weren't for that stupid theatrical trailer that revealed too much. Besides, Sky High, being a Disney film, is too fluffy and harmless, when it could have been a much edgier and grittier (read: MUCH COOLER!) film.

Planning A Sci-Fi Version Of The Hang Tuah/Hang Jebat Story

Didn't exactly want to reveal too much about the plot of my latest short film, but anyone who had seen my musings couple of days before Merdeka about the Hang Tuah vs Hang Jebat story, and my hinting that my upcoming film will be a sci-fi retelling of a 'Malay folklore' obviously has figured out that I am reworking the Hang Tuah vs Hang Jebat story, but with the spotlight more upon the antihero Hang Jebat than Hang Tuah himself.

Due to budget constraints, I attempt to make this more like a sci-fi film from the 1960s (thus it is black and white), than the current special effects heavy (I have neither the resources nor the manpower to do this) sci-fi blockbuster. It will also be very noirish, like a Humphrey Bogart movie. After all, to have a movie like this, and being completely in Malay, would make it rather unique.

The screenshots featured in yesterday's entry are actually of Hang Jebat's. And once again, due to lack of resources and others, instead of utilizing special effects, I will be using the most old-school methods of filmmaking. So yeah, I'm using miniatures. Who knows? The final product may end up like something made by Ed Wood.

There will be lots of twists and surprises in my short film that I do not intend to reveal here. But if I can pull this off, I think it will be one of the most unique projects ever. Hah!

Almost Got ARRESTED While Filming!

Shooting for my untitled Malay-language 1960s-style old school sci-fi project has begun. Justin and I, along with our main actor Johan, made our way to Perth city to film a simple scene which involves Johan's character waiting for a train at the train station, and then standing alone by himself while being in the train.

It was, of course, filmed at the central train station, which, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful places in the city.

Unfortunately, while filming, we were interrupted by a middle-aged security guard.

Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children (better than Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within)

I have just finished watching FF7:AC seconds ago, and I feel compelled to write a review IMMEDIATELY. Because, quite seriously, I've been BLOWN AWAY.

Ayumi Hamasaki Poetry

So I've been getting into this poetry shit more and more lately. Started when I decided to write a poem for my girlfriend on our anniversary and, upon looking at the result, decided it was formally a little better than it had to be, not just the unstructured sentimental crap I was expecting I'd put out. I'd been intimidated into not even trying for too long by the disastrous rubbish I put out in my teens, not to mention the intimidation produced by by genuine poets who had a better grasp of meter, villanelle forms, etc. That, and Dan Schneider's fierce but accurate criticisms of anyone and everyone.
But I realized that if I didn't worry about whether what came out was going to be crap or not, things got a lot easier. This approach is what eventually led to the Xiaxue poem. I saw Xiaxue towering in my mind as a colossal figure, so in order to assess the impact of this, I decided I needed to go for the most overblown classical metaphors and phrasings possible. Even the abca rhyme scheme allowed for the delayed release of the buildup of long lines. It was self-consciously ridiculous excess, and while the resultant poem wasn't what I'd call great, I will say that motivating its production was probably the most important thing Xiaxue will accomplish in her life.

Pitching my Hang Jebat/ Hang Tuah sci-fi film to an actress

More of my filmmaking activities will be chronicled now. Especially the making of my upcoming short film.

Bridget Jones' Diary Is Serious Literature.

Wrote this for my Popular Literature class.

Learning To Direct Actors

In order to prepare for my next short film, I've secretly sneaked into my university's Screen Production 2 Lectures to spy on the arts of filmmaking which I can steal for future endeavours. Wasn't much last week, just some stuff about the rise of Interactive Entertainment. Which is something I MIGHT play with. (creating an interactive vides for my short film?) But today's seminar was totally freaking useful beyond belief.

While making Forced Labour, I realized that my biggest flaw may have been my inability to direct dialogue, or even to direct actors properly, since I don't have formal training in directing people, and my many attempts to direct a play back then was repeatedly foiled by my high school. In fact, here's how I direct my actors in Forced Labour.

West Side Story: Homosexual Space Opera at its Finest

Some of the best speculative fiction has achieved its impact by creating a world identical to our own except for a single noticeable difference, be it absence or presence. What courses might society have taken if, for example, we could read minds? Or had lost the Second World War? Or had just recently intersected with an alien civilization?

West Side Story falls into this tradition: it posits a dystopian America in which menacing street gangs control New York, and violence (both physical and emotional) and repressed homosexual attraction are sublimated into spontaneous, flamboyant eruptions of singing and dancing.

Utada Hikaru vs Mishima Yukio: Haru No Yuki ONEGAI

So the other day I was looking for videos to download when I came upon this new Hikaru Utada single "Be My Last." Needless to say I downloaded it without thinking. Upon first playing it, well...Acoustic Utada is something I never would have expected. Putting on this single fresh from the download, I was expecting either pulsing urban dance beats or a gentle ballad tinged with Japanese percussion and spacy echoes. Instead, over a quiet guitar backdrop, Hikaru poured forth a strange, wavering ululation that eventually segued into a melancholy chorus. "Be My Last" is a strange choice for a single, not particularly catchy and somewhat downbeat - the melismatic portions are also overdone ("whooahahaaaahwhooooaahaaaaaaah" my girlfriend mimiced, not at all impressed). All in all, it seemed like one of the weaker songs she's yet done. Looking for more info, I found the following notice:

"Be My Last (Movie "Haru no Yuki" Main Theme) [CD+DVD]/ Hikaru Utada"

Wait. A fucking. Minute.

Taka: The Greatest Reviewer of All Time (J-MADNESS)

Taka is from Tokyo, Japan, and he likes to post reviews in English on Amazon.com. Utilizing his formidable command of the English language (which he modestly refers to as "poor" but which could more accurately be described as "poetic"), Taka doesn't want to just jerk-off about whatever passes through his CD player: no, he's on a motherfucking mission to expand your closed-off tastes. In that he does shit I could have done (i.e. promoting Namie Amuro and X-Japan) he's a success, but no one, myself included, possesses the kind of mastery of diction that EVERY ONE of his reviews displays. Every single item he has recommended is on my "to get" list. Without further ado, here are some choice quotes from Taka's reviews, so you can understand for yourself just why you'll never be as cool as he is. Quotes in bold indicate times when I about lost my shit.

RED EYE

Imagine being in a plane and sitting next to you is a guy who arranges high-profile assassinations, and that his latest assignment can only be completed if you agree to help him make a phone call to the hotel you work in (you're a hotel desk manager) so that you can assign his target to a room he knows. Failure to comply will immediately result in your father's death.

Therefore, you are exchanging one life for another. The life of someone you love for someone you don't really know, but are you capable of doing this? Or are you going to outthink the guy sitting next to you? If you are, how are you going to do that when he is sitting just next to you, watching you the whole time?

Why Alex Yong is Cooler than God.

Justin: In case the title didn't make it abundantly clear, this entry's sole purpose is to introduce THE WORLD to the greatness that is ALEX YONG. Before we get this show on the road, I'll hand the mic over to Swifty for some background material.

Swifty: I am not worthy.

Our Problem with NEIL GAIMAN

Justin:

I've sure I've lost half of you already just with the title, but before I go any further let me just get one thing out of the way: I think The Sandman is one of the greatest comics of all time, and I have no problem with it in terms of its execution: artwork, writing, and thematic depth and unity. I couldn't recommend it more.

That being said...

Farewell, Comic Fiesta

People of the Comic Fiesta Forum,

On April 2004, when I first resigned from the committee of Comic Fiesta, I was too distraught to elaborate on why I had to leave. I left with a heavy heart. I didn't leave in good terms, and yes, being human, I was unable to keep my mouth shut, and I did tell some people what indeed happened that drove me to resignation, and what I said cast some parties into a negative light (which, I regret to say, wasn't entirely unintentional). It wasn't exactly the most honorable thing to do, but I am not flawless, despite my narcissism and massive ego.

Tim Burton's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Many people have hopped into the Johnny Depp bandwagon since 'Pirates of the Caribbean', and thanks to Johnny Depp bandwagoning, 'Charlie and The Chocolate Factory' became one of the most hotly-anticipated films on summer, even among those who didn't even know about the existence of those Roald Dahl books.

Oh, the things I had to deal with in an anime message board!

It`s funny, actually, how your past can always return to haunt you. Despite me trying my best to sever all contacts from the people of that anime club I once served as a committee member, I received private forum messages from one of the guys responsible for my resignation from the committee. The guy is Raywing, who got into a very ugly flame war with me prior to my resignation. It all had to do with the fact that we both had massive egos. Seriously.

Paul Auster's IN THE COUNTRY OF LAST THINGS, William Gibson's NEUROMANCER, Sue Grafton's A IS FOR ALIBI and Kate Atkinson's NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

Yes, I read a lot. Yes, I used to be a fairly fast reader. Devouring one book after another. But things have changed, busy with my filmmaking endeavours, I can only read a rare book a week, and mostly for the Popular Literature and Science Fiction unit I'm doing now.

I'm still fucking pissed that my previous attempt of posting my reviews of the four books I've finished reading disappeared just like this. Poof! 'Blog can't be found' eh? Fuck you, Blogger, fucking you fucking piece of shit for fucking making my fucking post disappear like this, you fucking shit fuckwit. I'm more fucking pissed that the string of profanities I used will be useless except for venting my frustration. If Blogger were a person, I would fucking bash it to a bloody pulp with a fucking spiked baseball bat, if Blogger were a pregnant woman, I would insanely plunged my hand deep into her belly and rip out the fetus.

So, I'm attempting this again. But unlike before, I won't be posting book covers of them. If you are that interested, just click the freaking title and you'll get to view its info on amazon.com yourself.

A GOOD WOMAN starring Helen Hunt, Scarlett Johansson and Tom Wilkinson

I NEED to put Scarlett Johannson on the subject title even though her role in this film is arguably smaller than Helen Hunt's (who plays the title role) because most Malaysians have jumped into the Scarlett bandwagon recently thanks to 'The Island', which flopped in the US but did surprisingly good business overseas.

I was at Perth City, doing some location scouting for my next film before I was gripped by boredom and gave in to my temptation to see a movie at the cinemas. Not Red Eye or Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, mind you, cos' they are too expensive, I was at this small cinema which plays older films, and arthouse films with tickets half the price of your usual multiplexes.

Hey Fandom, Up Yours!

It's not often that I feel so in sympathy with one of Swifty's posts that I feel it calls for an immediate followup on essentially the same theme. However, the last one calls for it.
I've never had much tolerance for "fans" of anything. This isn't to imply that I've never been so overawed by something that I haven't sung its praises in exorbitant, losing-your-shit-like-a-schoolgirl-with-her-first-period fashion. Far from it; in fact I'd distrust someone who never confessed to being blown away (see: people who think they can write but have never read anything, people who want to make films but only watch Hollywood). However, I've never seen the point of identifying yourself so strongly with any one artwork or belief, cause or culture. Simply put: it's reductive. Say someone says they're a furry. Well, what the hell else are they - a Republican? How can anybody tell, there's no way to see the forest for the fursuits.

Just to break it down more, here are some "fandoms" which particularly raise my ire:

Intend to do a Malay-language lo-fi sci-fi film.

Yeap, spent the past few days developing ideas for my next project, and have finally done so today. It's confirmed, my next film will be a black and white, LOW BUDGET sci-fi film in MALAY. (I would've done a French film, or an Aramaic film, but I am too patriotic)

Won't reveal too much of the storyline, but Jean-Luc Goddard's 1965 sci-fi classic Alphaville (a film he shot in modern-day Paris with a shoestring budget) and some famous Malaysian folklore will be the main inspiration for this one. Once again, will attempt to send this to film festivals around the world once it's done.

Actually, how many Malaysian sci-fi movies have been done before? I can only remember this XXray thingie I watched when I was a kid which had this invisible guy and some woman in an alien spaceship. Tried running a search for this on Google, no luck.